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September,
1803
My dearest Love,
I don't know how to write to you. I never felt so
oppressed in my life as at the cruel injury I have done you. I was
seized and searched with a pistol over me before I could destroy your
letters. They have been compared with those found before. I was
threatened with having them brought forward against me in Court. I
offered to plead guilty if they would suppress them. This was refused.
My love, can you forgive me?
I
wanted to know whether anything had been done respecting the person who
wrote the letter, for I feared you might have been arrested. They
refused to tell me for a long time. When I found, however, that this was
not the case, I began to think that they only meant to alarm me; but
their refusal has only come this moment, and my fears are renewed. Not
that they can do anything to you even if they would be base enough to
attempt it, for they can have no proof who wrote them, nor did I let
your name escape me once. But I fear they may suspect from the stile
[style], and from the hair, for they took the stock [Emmet's cravat into
which Sarah had sewn a lock of her hair] from me, and I have not been
able to get it back from them, and that they may think of bringing you
forward.
I
have written to your father to come to me tomorrow. Had you not better
speak to himself tonight? Destroy my letters that there may be nothing
against yourself, and deny having any knowledge of me further than
seeing me once or twice. For God's sake, write to me by the bearer one
line to tell me how you are in spirits. I have no anxiety, no care,
about myself; but I am terribly oppressed about you. My dearest love, I
would with joy lay down my life, but ought I to do more? Do not be
alarmed; they may try to frighten you; but they cannot do more. God
bless you, my dearest love.
I must send this off at once; I have written it
in the dark. My dearest Sarah, forgive me.
From:
Famous
Love Letters: Messages of Intimacy and Passion, Ronald Tamplin
(Editor)
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Sarah
Curran (1782-1808) was the youngest daughter of John Philpot Curran,
an eminent Irish lawyer. She met Emmet through her brother
Richard, who was a follow student at Trinity College. Her father
considered Emmet unsuitable, and their courtship was conducted through
letters and clandestine meetings. When her father discovered that
Sarah was secretly engaged, he treated her so harshly that she had to
take refuge with friends in Cork, where she met and married Captain
Robert Sturgeon in November 1805. They had a child who died in
infancy. Sarah died of consumption (tuberculosis) on May 5, 1808. |
